


A Perpetual State Of Gray

by Black_Lotus



Series: Perpetual [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cover Art, Death Threats, F/M, Lone Wolf, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), POV Female Character, POV First Person, Pre-Relationship, Russian character, Sexy Negan (Walking Dead), Short One Shot, Swearing, Threats of Violence, saviours - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 14:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14046579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Black_Lotus/pseuds/Black_Lotus
Summary: I'd heard of him of course, the man with the bat snared in barbed wire, the man in the leather jacket with a grin as devilish as it was schoolboy like. Negan.





	A Perpetual State Of Gray

 

Saviours had come across me on their way back from somewhere, well, their trucks were full of stuff so I assumed they'd been 'collecting' from some nearby group. I'd been minding by own business as I went through an old boutique, most of the clothes were dusty and horrid after all the years they'd been hanging there but I'd needed a new coat for the winter; couldn't survive in my thin black jeans and ripped tank top forever. Just my luck that the boss himself had ordered his men to turn the place over for anything even remotely useful, at first I'd just hidden at the back of the building, doubted they'd want anything in the boutique, but his Saviours were through. I took out six of them and escape the building before they'd managed to pin me down to the floor while a man with a moustache called for his boss. That was how I'd ended up on my knees, freezing my ass off and expecting death.

“You're a feisty little girl, ain't ya.” Grinned the lean man with a moustache while he waited.

I glanced either side of me and sure enough half an army flanked me with weapons trained at my head. It wasn't going to be easy to escape this. That's when I saw him.

I'd heard of him of course, the man with the bat snared in barbed wire, the man in the leather jacket with a grin as devilish as it was schoolboy like. Negan. Everyone knew about Negan. He owned everything in the post-apocalyptic nightmare we called home... and if he didn't he soon would. But there on my knees, the cold earth harsh against my skin, I realised that the stories didn't do him justice. His eyes had too much green in them to be called hazel and they shone in the moonlight almost mesmerizingly, his salt and pepper hair slicked back... the man oozed charisma and charm. There was danger there though, dominance and power. I'd grown up with men like him, men who knew what they wanted and how to get it. I spoke their language, maybe that was why I didn't see Negan as the monster everyone else did, he wasn't evil. I'd found that others saw the world as black and white, good or evil, but in the world we lived in now it wasn't that simple. Our world was a perpetual state of grey, Negan was grey, I was grey, the creepy guy with a moustache was grey, everyone still alive was grey. We did horrible things and forced ourselves to justify them, we were all as bad as each other, that was why I'd kept to myself since the world ended. Then again I'd never done well in large groups.

“Well, hi there, Tomb Raider'.” Smirked Negan as he raised his bat onto a shoulder. “What brings a pretty lil thing like you out here at this time o' night?”

Tomb Raider? Ahh, yes, my thigh holsters. I said nothing, it wasn't a conscience decision I'd just grown used to being quiet.

“Answer him!” Ordered the blonde with a scarred face who'd taken my guns.

“Shut up, Dwight.” The blonde fell silent instantly and I had to admit the authority in Negan's voice sent a jolt of pleasure through my thin body. He turned his attention back to me. “How about we start easy, huh? Hi, I'm Negan. This beauty here is Lucille,” he gestured to the bat on his shoulder “this dude is Simon and the noisy ass twat over there is Dwight. What's your name?”

I just glared at him for a time before finally answering him.

“... Lee.” I hadn't heard my own voice in so long.

“What sorta accent is that?” Questioned Simon, suddenly curious about me.

“It's real pretty.” Said Negan as he crouched down to look me in the eye. “What is that, Polish?”

I shook my head, I wasn't scared of him, just still trying to remember to talk.

“Russian.” I told him and the bearded man nodded to himself.

“Well, damn, you don't see many Russians around these days. Actually I don't think I've met anyone from across the Atlantic since this hell started. And since when do Russians name their daughters 'Lee'?”

“You lyin' to him, bitch?!”

“Dwight, what the fuck did I say not thirty fucking seconds ago? Shut the fuck up!”

He yelled, darkness flashed in his eyes but just as quickly as it had appeared it was gone and those green-hazel orbs were back on me, a smirk on his lips. I was pretty damn sure he could talk a man dying of thirst into giving up his last drop of water if so inclined.

“It's a nickname.” I couldn't stop looking at those eyes. “Lee is short for Yulia.”

When my father had brought me to America I'd been six and for some reason the other kids had found Yulia hard to pronounce, I didn't see what the problem was, You-Lee-Ah, there easy as fucking pie. Seemed Lee had been the only syllable they'd managed to grasp and the nickname had stuck.

“Pretty.”

Those eyes of his raked over my body, I couldn't deny I had a rather large chest and the tank top I wore didn't exactly play that fact down. I could feel his men's eyes on me and it was almost like hands clawing but none of that happened when Negan looked at me, there was something – dare I say – gentle about it.

“Yulia what?” He asked. “If we're gonna be friends I should know your name, honey.”

“What makes you think I want to be your friend?” I questioned, my accent had dulled after a decade in the states but it would never be gone.

Negan chuckled darkly and never took his eyes from mine. Maybe I'd been wrong when I said I'd grown up with men like him, I don't think anyone was quite like the man before me.

“Oh Sweetheart, everyone wants to be my friend. I'm a great friend, aren't I Simon?”

“Always boss.” Came the loyal response.

“Come on, you can tell me.” That deep baritone practically vibrated through me like a Harley engine.

He wasn't going to let this go, and him having my name couldn't really hurt me could it?

“Stravinsky. Yulia Stravinsky. Do you want my brother's names and my social security too?”

That chuckle came again. I didn't know where this was going but I doubted he was going to kill me, he'd paid too much attention. I wish he'd hurry up and get to the point though it was dark and I was freezing my tits off.

“Like the composer?” I raised an eyebrow at that, seemed he was smarter than I'd assumed. “Simon was right about you, you're a feisty one, Yulia.” I was starting to think he just liked saying my name. “You all alone out here? You are aren't you, something tells me you don't have a lot of friends.” Again I said nothing, just kept my eyes on him unwaveringly. “How about I cut to the chase? I don't think you appreciate beating around the bush do ya, darlin'? You kicked the shit out o' six of my guys in damn near thirty seconds, Travis over there is still holdin' his stomach. I haven't seen anyone get the drop on them that quick, if Simon hadn't jumped on ya you'd have snapped poor Dwight's neck, maybe I should have let you.” Negan smirked much to the blonde's displeasure. “Let me take you to the Sanctuary, I think we can make use of one another.”

Was this a job offer? 'hey you can kick the shit out of men at the drop of a hat, come work for me', that was basically all I heard.

“If I say no?”

“No one says no to Negan.” Growled Dwight before kicking me in the back so hard my forehead smacked against the cold, hard ground. Pain sparked through my head and blurred my vision but the adrenaline and anger soon took over.

I'd had enough of this dick, he couldn't shut up for more than a minute, before I knew I'd moved I'd pinned the prick to the ground with my hands around his throat.

“Прикоснись ко мне еще раз, сучка, и я оторву тебе член!” (Touch me again, bitch, and I'll tear your dick off!)

The one I now knew as Simon ripped me from the scarred blonde, I'd expected blows to rain down on me but it never happened, instead Lucille jabbed him out of the way and a large hand dropped down to help me up.

“Perfect gentlemen.” I took Negan's hand and shot to my full height.

Somehow I felt as though we were playing a game of sorts, Negan seemed curious, as though he wanted to learn as much as was physically possible – I think he was having fun – while I just wanted to see how far I could push the all powerful Negan.

“Look, Darlin', I'll level with you. You, Yulia, are hardened to this world and I think you've been hardened to it since long before the world went to shit. All that bravery and sexy spunk, let me give you somewhere to angle it. We save people, let me show you.”

“No.” I didn't do well in groups.

I turned to leave, I could find a coat somewhere else or maybe loop back tomorrow if needs be, That wasn't to be though, I only got a single step before he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to his chest, a terrible mistake for Negan. In an instant I had the blade that had been hidden in my boot pressed against his neck. There was almost a shockwave of movement where all those automatic weapons flew up ready to blow my head off but Negan denied them the order.

“Oh I like you.” He grinned. “Clearly my guys aren't even looking for knives anymore.” This man really didn't fear anything did he? “Come on, darlin', look at ya, you haven't slept properly in weeks, you look healthy but we all know you're hungry. I can fix all that.”

I wasn't getting a choice in this, was I? Sure I could slit his throat but then there wasn't a single chance surviving the night... and I was hungry. Maybe I could scout the Sanctuary out, bag up some food and vanish before Negan lost interest in me.

Reluctantly I nodded. “... Alright.”

Slowly I took the sharp silver blade away and looked down to where he grasped my wrist, his fingers were calloused and warm despite the cold evening air. His grip though tight didn't hurt and I couldn't remember the last time I'd been this close to another living person. How long had I been alone? How long had my brothers been gone?

“Awesome!” Negan finally released me in favour of throwing Lucille back up onto his shoulder and slipping an arm around my waist so he could lead to to his truck. “This is gonna be fun. Boys, pack your shit and let's get out o' here!”

I didn't know what would happen when I got to the Sanctuary... but I sure as hell wasn't going to be his perfect little solider, be at his beck and call.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> This was just a little idea I had, I'm not sure if I'll turn it into a full blown fic or not so please let me know what you think. :-)


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